Today I watched a handful of first and second graders play a friendly game of basketball. I sat in the bleachers among a scattered group of supportive parents and grandparents while the little ones ran up and down the half-court, dribbling, double-dribbling, traveling, hogging the ball and committing all sorts of other minor infractions. It was all good.
Until, that is, I heard those ugly words, “take the ball” from the opposing coach. What? Did I really hear that? Yep, the coach wasn’t shouting an encouraging “way to go” or “nice shot,” but instead was focusing on pushing the kids to get the ball.
Sure, that’s one of the “basics” of basketball, but I thought these kids were going to work on the real basics, like ball-handling, general rules, shooting…you know, the light stuff that should form the foundation before kids start with the fancy stuff, like stealing the ball. I was thinking our kids would learn something about effort and skill, discipline and team work, self esteem and fair play. Who was I kidding?
Not only was their coach encouraging the kids to steal, but so were parents in the stands. The aggressors (I mean, a few kids on the opposing team) were often so focused on trying to yank the ball out of a player’s hands, that they wouldn’t even run down court when it was time to play defense. Guess someone forgot to tell them about that basic part of the game.
I had to bite my tongue and resist the inclination to remind my fellow spectators that we were observing little children try to have fun while they learn a game, not try out for the all-stars!
The mom next to me repeatedly urged her son to “pay attention” and “get your hands out of your shirt,” while the little guy, clearly oblivious to the purpose of the game, was having a delightful time skipping all over the court. He couldn’t have cared less about grabbing the rebound, getting a pass, or even attempting to play defense. If the kids don’t care, why should we? If they’re having fun, why can’t we just enjoy watching them with a big sappy smile on our face and joy in our hearts? They’re only six, maybe seven years old; why must we make everything a competition?
Don’t we want them to have a little fun? Learn a new game without any pressure? Stretch and reach to see what they might accomplish, if they want to? Not to mention, learn the basics?
Play fair. Do your best. Hone your skills. Get good at the little things before moving on to big things. ( Wax on, wax off…Remember the Karate Kid?)
Part of the game is taking the ball from the other team. If that is how the game was set up by the two coaches, that is how it is. As they get older and play basketball, it is even one of the stats they keep track of. Yes, everything is a competition these days. It is what we turned the world into. So, just go along for the ride or put the kiddos in a bubble.
I really agree that competition at such a young age, and also far beyond, is not helpful to what we all really want, which is to be included, to be together to enjoy one another. I was saddened to read the previous comment that creating a supportive and non-competitive environment for our children would be thought of as “a bubble”. I hope to live in a community (not a bubble) that sees what leads to deep happiness, for our children and ourselves, and realizes that “stealing the ball” as the focus of a game is not ultimately the answer. I agree with the Teresa Drake. When I read the above comment I see, in my mind, a little kid with a whole bunch of balls all around him, and no one to play with and no smile on his face because he took all the balls and wont share them.